Finding Purpose Through Pain:
The Grant’s Mission to Bring Hope
Faced with the tragic death of their daughter, local couple looks to help those in need
On the surface, Anthony Grant is the epitome of success.
A legendary basketball coach of more than 30 years, Grant’s experience includes coaching positions in high school, college, and the NBA.
He has led multiple teams to postseason appearances, winning conference championships, while earning prestigious coaching awards that hang on his office walls at the University of Dayton, along with all sorts of other milestones and achievements he’s earned throughout the years.
Underneath this pristine surface, nevertheless, Coach Grant is dealing with a lot of pain — a type of pain no human being should ever have to endure.
Although he is best known as the men’s head basketball coach at UD today, Grant is also a husband and a father.
In 2022, Coach Grant and his wife, Chris, were dealt a horrible blow no parent in this world should ever have to experience when their daughter, Jayda, passed away to suicide at the age of 20.
Stricken by this unspeakable tragedy, the only way the Grants knew how to process and live with this pain was by sharing their story in hopes of helping others who are struggling.
Seeking to find “purpose through pain,” the Grants have formed partnerships with area nonprofit organizations and charitable causes hoping to help people who struggle with mental illness. One of the organizations that resonates with them in their campaign to raise awareness and help those in need happens to be our very own Emerge Recovery & Trade Initiative.
The Grants’ Fight for Mental Health Awareness
Although mental health issues are distinct from substance use disorders and their daughter never used drugs — these two public health epidemics, they said, are often very interrelated and if they can touch one person’s life or help others in the name of their late daughter, her tragic death can be used to help others.
Hence the phrase, “Finding Purpose Through Pain.”
Recently, Elaine Bonner, director of philanthropy at Emerge, and Brian Evans from the Five Star Home Services’ marketing team sat down with the Grants for an in-depth interview as the couple agreed to serve as the honorary cochairs for this year’s signature event, Embrace the Journey, Oct. 25.
The Grants also attended the event last year, when legendary OSU football coach and Lt. Gov. Jim Tressel served as the guest of honor.
They said they were moved by the event because of all of the stories that were shared.
The following is a transcript of our interview with the couple at their UD office in Dayton:
How did you first hear about Emerge?
Chris: “Through Elaine Bonner, we came to know each other through the school my children attended. Hearing about this program and hearing about how it’s supporting people’s recovery and helping them regain solid footing through learning a trade was very heartwarming. Elaine extended an invitation to come out. It was great getting to see the great work you all are doing.”
What resonated with you about last year’s event?
Anthony: “I heard about Emerge from my wife, Chris. I didn’t know what to expect going to the event last year. This is a diverse group of people being helped and supported. Hearing people’s stories at our table, what they had been through, and their experiences truly resonated with us in terms of our own life experiences. To see something like that in our region, that’s helping people find strength and hope, it was impactful.”
Chris: “The stories about how people’s lives have been transformed, the hope that they have now for a brighter future despite the struggles they had in the past — seeing the hope they had was really heartwarming.”
What motivates you to invest time/support the mission of Emerge?
Anthony: “In a lot of ways, it’s personal because of our family history. Seeing or knowing the impact that we could have, I’m in a fortunate position with what I do. A lot of people care about what we do here. This provides us with a platform to be able to speak to things that affect this community. My faith tells me, when you go through things, there is an opportunity in everything you go through. You can use those experiences to help other people and bring purpose to what you’re going through. At the end of the day, we are all connected in some way. It’s not easy. But it is beneficial when you can have an impact on other people, using your platform, sharing your story. You never know how that can hit on someone else. That’s what we’re trying to do with the different things we’re involved with”
Chris: “Our experience reaffirms the need for promoting hope and helping young people find their purpose. You get a sense in today’s climate that it’s so needed. There needs to be a place for people to go when they struggle. It’s very invaluable. I believe in the mission of giving people second chances and I am grateful Emerge exists for those who need it.”
As a coach and as a parent, how have you seen the disease of addiction affect young people?
Anthony: “As a coach, I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been at every level. Dealing with young people, you get to know the families and the people around them. I’ve seen a lot of different sides of it in terms of drug use enablers. People that would want to take advantage of an opportunity to attach themselves to people. I’ve also seen the side of it where escape is the word that comes to mind, through disappointment or struggle, or not knowing where to go to deal with the issues in front of them. People want relief from that pain or hurt. As a coach, I’ve seen the results of not having access to something like this and how it can affect families and lives. To see Elaine’s involvement in this program, being available to people, I think Coach Tressel said it last year: This needs to be in every community in the state and across the country. People don’t know where to go for help. That’s a problem. When you go down the path sometimes it’s hard to see the light and know how to get out of the situation. I think awareness is huge, letting people know that there is an organization and there are people out there who want to help. We’ve dealt with addiction in our family. I lost a nephew who struggled for years. I’ve had other family members who’ve dealt with it. The other side of it for us is the mental health piece and how that relates or contributes to it. We had a different experience with our daughter; it was not an addiction, but it was mental health related. So, we have a passion to help young people find hope and different ways to cope with the things life can throw at you.”
As mental health disorders and substance use can go hand in hand, what are some key ways we can support young adults and families who are struggling with these issues?
Chris: “We can raise awareness and make sure they are reminded that they are supported — that there is support out there, giving them the tools they need to navigate tough situations in their own life. It’s important that we let young people know they are not alone. Stigma can stop people from seeking help. The more we talk about it, the more we can remind families. Families often just need someone to come alongside them. It is tough to do it on your own. If we’re able to be there for one another, it helps because we are all connected in some way. Being able to support families can make a huge difference.”
How do you mentor young people to lead healthy lifestyles? (From your years as a coach/parent, how can peers help their friends balance their mental health.
Anthony: “I am working with a select group who have had to make sacrifices to be here. That doesn’t exclude them from having those temptations or vulnerabilities. They get to do something they love to do. But there are requirements they have to abide by to do what they’re doing. They’re still human beings. They are still vulnerable. We try to start with our culture with how we want to operate. The expectation that you will buy into what we’re doing. The group I work with is usually 18-23 years old. They make mistakes. We’re not asking for perfection. There is a process of how we treat each other. We are honest with each other. We allow ourselves to be held accountable. We’re going to lift everyone to the standard. We are part of a team. We are part of something bigger than ourselves. That same thing would apply to the people who come to Emerge. You don’t want to let someone else down. Those are some basic things that we talk about. Becoming the best version of ourselves. Peer to peer influence is critical. Everyone in the room has influence. Use that in a way that uplifts people. The best teams are the player-led teams where they hold each other accountable. It’s a multiplier when they hold each other accountable.”
Please share the support groups, organizations, and people that have given your family strength with the loss of your daughter Jayda.
Chris: The Ohio Suicide Prevention Foundation provided us with support shortly after the loss of our daughter by helping us find a meaning way to honor her. Anthony found the agency while searching on-line for resources on suicide loss. They are very intentional about advocating for changes in policy to make sure that people get help. This is what we need. This is how we feel dollars can be best used. One common theme is that there needs to be improvement in the medical field because that’s usually the first line of defense. Mental illness is physical illness. Educating the medical professionals around mental health is important.”
Anthony: “The bigger piece is the stigma around it. I grew up in Miami, Florida. A lot of my friends and neighbors were impacted when crack cocaine came on the scene. I saw the way it was criminalized. People had stigmas, they were looked at or treated like they were bad human beings. Some people went away for a long long time because they had an addiction. It’s good to see the growth where we are now — this is a disease. People need help. They don’t need punishment for having a disease. The growth that we’ve seen is good. . . Breaking the stigma around it is important. The people that love you need to understand how to deal with these issues better. One of the things they’re trying to pass is to allow your insurance to pay for your treatment, making changes to how it’s funded. Some people can’t afford to go get treatment or therapy. What you guys are doing with Emerge is providing hope. Many people in Dayton have never heard about Emerge. Let’s prevent people from dying. How can we prevent it?”
Tell us about your daughter and her special gifts.
Chris: “Her special gift was her caring heart. She was always a listening ear, especially for her brothers. Hearing the story from her friends at the ceremony about how much she cared about helping people — that’s one of the ways we would like to use the platform. Help people find and use their own light. Her big heart and her ability to connect with people made her very special to everyone.”
In starting Jays Light, how do you hope to make an impact?
Chris: “We created it to be a way for us to get into the community and show people what resources are available. We are grateful that the community has been supportive. We have used it to promote the town hall — a community activity where people come out to continue to break the stigma and allow people to talk more openly about this issue.”
In leading and motivating hundreds/thousands of athletes, what has brought you the most joy?
Anthony: “Ever since I was 14 years old, I’ve been a part of a team. Sometimes you can take that for granted. However, whenever you get a chance to reflect — 30 years later — you see someone you coached, and they have a family of their own. It’s a joy to get to talk about the experiences you had, learning about the impact that you’ve had. Giving each other a confidence and a work ethic and a safe place to become a productive member of society. These relationships and shared experiences give me joy. Seeing what they became and how they go on and whether they continue with the sport and the impact they make on the world. It’s a joy seeing where they go. I may not see someone for 10 years. But when we come together, the memories are there like they happened yesterday. That’s ultimately what this is about — sports or being a part of a team. Life is a team sport. You have to marry those lessons that you learned — sacrifice, accountability, work ethic, striving towards a common interest and what it takes to accomplish that. I’ve been doing it long enough that I can see the big picture. In the game, we have the scoreboard. At the end of the day, the bigger picture is what makes it worth it.”